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Last Couch to Awesometown

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VIP

Somebody tell my what a VIP is! Its driving me crazy. Why do they get such special treatment? Are they better than me? I hate people who think their better than me because Im better than those people. VIPs are nothing but scums and dont know how to hold in their bladder when it really counts. Ive always wanted to be a VIP at least one day in my life. But with the clock ticking i dont see that happening. When I blew out the candles on my 5th birthday my wish was to be a VIP. I guess not all my wishes can come true. Which is why I have given up on my VIP dream and now looking into joining the NAACP. Either that or the NCAA.

Midterms

Fuck them

Socks

Ok i understand that socks are great to have but honestly are they really that important? Is it possible that they are a scam brought on my global marketing to waste us of our money? A famous man once tried to outlaw socks. "I plan to outlaw socks!" - John F Kennedy. JFK's preposition of the "socks are for pussies act" was a major reason he won the 1960 election. What happened right before Kennedy was projected to present the bill to congress... he was assassinated by Lee Harvey Oswald who was wearing socks the day of the assassination. Many have forgotten about the socks epidemic but not me. And I will not rest until the whole nation is deprived of this torturous marketing scam.

Snow

Snow. What is it? Scholars have been trying to answer this question for thousands of years. Some say it is the leftovers from broken parts of clouds. Others say it is the people of the future traveling through our time with their time machines. I say that snow is just an illusion and a symbol that we are never truly complete. But in reality the answer to the theory of snow will never be answered.

Eating Pizza

The only thing thats great about eating pizza is the satisfaction of good taste. Other than that I disapprove. The long term health hazards of pizza are very dangerous. I once had this friend named Moose and he had pizza twice a day for 17 years. He got very fat and now has terrible pains in his sides for no reason. Anyway Moose now knows the dangers of pizza and im letting you know its time to limit pizza eating to only 4 times a week.

Today

Today i met a mountain lion. His name was geoffrey. Dont think that was a typo he spells it with a lowercase G. Hes from some eastern european country or something stupid. Anyway, geoffrey and I departed and vowed never to talk again. Except on our birthdays where we will write on eachothers facebook walls.